September 27, 2007

Always Grateful to Hold Jack's Hand

Whew! We made it, our Thursday is almost over. Thursday's are our busiest day during the week and they always take extreme planning to get everyone picked up, driven here and there, then fed on top of all that. We had to forgoe Thai Kwon Do, because I couldn't get everyone home and dressed in time to be there and I didn't have an extra second to spare to gather their uniforms today.
We will spend our usual Thai Kwon Do time catching up on Bible Bowl tonight. I have such fond memories of Bible Bowl from when I was a kid. It is a nationwide program, a specific book from the Bible is the subject matter and kids starting in the 3rd grade can participate. My kids have enjoyed it this year, and my favorite part is sitting at the kitchen table with my three munchkins going over the scriptures verse by verse and them filling in the answer blanks on their study sheets. There is alot to be said for devotionals and kids, but there is nothing like being in the Word itself, not something written about the Word.
HBO therapy is going well for Jack. Just about 1 week down, 5 to go. Thanks to my friends this week who have sat with me in the waiting room to keep me company. Today, thanks to Judy, I found my way to the coffee kiosk. Judy is the queen of coffee and she can smell it miles away.
After Jack's HBO therapy today we went straight to the cancer center to have his medi-port accessed and flushed. A mediport is like a little quarter size disc, about 1/4 inches thick that was surgically placed under his skin before chemo started, the chemo is given through the port which has a plastic vein attached from the port then surgically attached to one of Jack's veins. It cuts down on the wear and tear or your own veins so they don't weaken through chemo or heavy access. We don't use it currently but it must be accessed and flushed out to keep it available and clean for future use. At some point it will be removed, it wont be soon enough according to Jack. Due to all the weight gain there is alot of water weight and flesh weight that surrounds that port now and the nurses stuck Jack several times but couldn't access it. Bummer. I emailed Jack's oncologist at Jack's request to see if we could just have it removed during his eye surgery in November. No go. He wants to get firm information on how the tumor is doing, not just the speculation from the radiologist that the tumor is not growing and that the change was Necrosis.
I am not sure what we will need to do, I am waiting to hear back on the maximum amount of time a port can still be viable not having been accessed. We might need to make a Dallas trip to Children's Medical Center and have them try. Nurse Sara works with kids ALL the time like Jack who have gained alot of weight on steroids, so she is fully qualified to access it if it is at all possible. She even used a longer needle and it didn't work. We will see, over all this is not a big deal, just one of life's little inconveniences. Jack was exceedingly brave today, he was emla'd up, but we really didn't let the cream sit long enough to numb his skin, only to take the edge off so he could get back to school more quickly. He was very brave being poked with a very thick needle over and over, he never even flinched or shed a tear.
I continue to be thankful for my family. I am always grateful that I get to hold Jack's hand through this journey.

September 24, 2007

Hypobaric Oxygen Treatment #1

One treatment down, 29 to go. The treatment went so well! Jack breezed through it. We got to the hospital right after 7:30 to do paperwork, at about 8am they sent us upstairs and we visited with the doctor in charge of the HBO program (Hypobaric Oxygen) Jack changed into scrubs and he was ready. He laid on the gurney, the nurse gave him a special water bottle to take in with him, showed him how to pop his ears by putting water in your mouth, holding your nose closed and swallowing. They pushed him into the tube and that was when I had to leave. He laid on that comfy mattress inside the tube and was able to watch the television on the wall above him. The next time I saw him he was walking out to me back in school clothes. We were back at school by about 10:15 a.m. The clinic is only open M-F, so the 30 treatments will take 6 weeks. Last night one of our good friends at church talked to Jack about the HBO treatment. Her name is Elaine A. and we just love her so much. She has been in the HBO chambers many, many times. Jack was very excited about the treatment after talking with her, because she filled him in on the television! She also told Jack that movie starts in Hollywood pay to go into the treatments because it rejuvinates your skin and complexion.
Here are a couple of pictures.


Safety City #2



A couple more pics to the post below.

Safety City #1

The most fun field trip for all the Abilene and Wylie schools is during their 3rd grade year. They go to safety city and learn about fire safety and road safety, including pedestrian, biking and cars. It is a full day of learning. They learn about what to do in case of a fire and actually get to climb out of a window from a room that is full of smoke. Sophie called is party smoke, like they use on stage or for a halloween party. The kids thought it smelled like vanilla or marshmallows. And they learn the rules of the road.
The parents who volunteered to help are the traffic monitors. This little "city" has miniature buildings, roads, traffic lights, stop signs,... just like a real city. After classroom instruction, the kids are divided into thirds. One third will be driving a mini-car, one third biking, one third being led around a specific path as pedestrians, then they rotate so everyone get's to do everything. And we all work together to keep those worlds from colliding into each other. I was a bit of a nervous nellie as I was assigned to a busy intersection. The cars had to stop at the stop sign, look both ways and if clear then continue on. The pedestrians would be walking her and there and they had to look over both shoulders to do a safety check for cars or bikes. The bikes had to look both ways, make their right hand turn signal, and continue on their way. None of that sounds scary, but with all three happening at the same time and you are the only adult within a hundred feet, whew.
There was this little precious angel girl who was in one of the classes. She had a big smile, you could tell she was as sweet as could be, and full of spunk. She was on a bike rounding her right turn and she looked up at me, you could tell she was trying to turn right, but as she was looking somewhere other than she was biking, her bike went in the direction she was looking. She ran straight into a big orange cone about 12" taller than she was. I asked her if she was o.k. and she said she was and that it was the third cone she had run into.
Then about a half a hour later I look up on the bridge where the cars come from to my direction. And I see this little green beetle bug go up on a curb. The adult manning that area lifted the front end of the car back onto the road and the green beetle bug was off. Hitting the curb off and on the whole way down the bridge and past the curve coming to the stop sign I was posted at. It doesn't take me too long to figure out it is the same little girl who had run into the cone. She ran the car up the curb when she got to the place to stop. Big smile on her face, but I could tell she felt a bit out of her element. She continued on her journey to the next adult about 100 feet away from me, she ran over the tall cone and went the wrong way down the wrong street. The adult hit the kill switch on her car to get the car stopped and turned back around, but that was it. That little angel was done, she hopped out of the car, ran to her teacher and sought some much needed comfort, never to get back in the car again, she was done and didn't even want to finish her one lap around the city. When the adults were being briefed on the instructions we were told that those cars can pretty much go anywhere, and if we were concerned for our safety that we could stand on the benches that were beside the road, although I thought it might be rude of me to jump up on the bench when I saw who was driving. So I just edged back a bit farther from the road. Anyway she was a cute little doodle bug driving a cute little beetle bug. Precious!
Here are some pics.




September 21, 2007

Radionecrosis

Good Friday morning. I talked with the doctor yesterday. After much consideration the doctors are still feeling positive about the tumor itself. They believe that the tumor has not grown and what they are seeing on the MRI is something called Radionecrosis. Another new word. The radiation is killing healthy cells surrounding the tumor and that is why the tumor looked like it was growing, because the cells around it were changing. The original radiologist (a hospital radiologist, not Jack's radiologist) still believes that what he see's is tumor progression, but Jack's radiologist disagree's. So what can be done about radionecrosis? Hypobaric Oxygen Treatments is what is recommended. The Dallas doctor's have ordered 30 treatments. One hour a day for 30 days. The catch - finding a local place that will treat a child. When Jack first had the paralysis from the radiation Dr. W., the neurosurgeon, told us that the HBO treatments would be helpful if Jack didn't start healing up right away. He checked with a center here and couldn't get a returned phone call after several tries. Now the radiologist is trying a different wound care center and hopefully something somewhere will work out in town. If not, they will have treatments for Jack done at Dallas Children's. 30 days - and even more if they don't do the treatments on weekends in Dallas. We would just pack up and move into the Ronald McDonald House for a month or so. I would rather not do that - hmmmm wonder why? So pray for a good reception from one of the wound care clinics in Abilene to take on Jack's case and for all the details to work out quickly.

Edit to Add: Prayers were answered with a happy voice on the phone calling me from Hendrick Medical Center in Abilene this morning bright and early. Jack starts HBO treatments on Monday morning at 8am. Glory, glory.
Yippeeee!

The twins went to Safety City Yesterday. I will post some of those pics on Monday - so cute.

September 17, 2007

I will praise You Lord Jesus!

Monday night. Today has been an excellent day. If I could have walked around with my hands in the air praising God all day, I would have. My heart has praised him all day long, from the moment I woke up. God has blessed me with peace and joy. I have come through the muck and mire, made it through with the Lord carrying me all of the way and I am so grateful.

I went to a couple of classes today at the ACU Lectures. Randy Harris is always entertaining and thought provoking. He spoke on humility. I loved how he used many examples of his own life as what not to do. Humility is not a very popular word in our culture, most would think of it as a character fault or defect, definately a weakness not a strength. I loved the class.
Then I went to a class on authenticity and christianity. Great class too. One of the most interesting comments that a college girl said was that she didn't feel like she could share openly about her struggles at church, but then she would go home and blog about it. Her friends would read it, but no one ever spoke about what was written. They might even comment on the posts, but no one would bring it up in the real world, it was like a virtual confessional with no follow up. The shiny happy way that "church" is done does not bring God any glory. It is only through our weaknesses that God's strength can be seen. I see no value in pretending. When I came back to the Lord many years ago I needed real people with real struggles to show me how to put one foot in front of the other, I am thankful to God for bringing me into such a fellowship of believers.

Blessings.

September 15, 2007

A couple of reports

Saturday at lunch time. I am about to pick up the kiddo's from grandma's house, but thought I would quickly report that the neurosurgeon called yesterday. He called to say that there was some growth shown on the MRI. Although the growth could be some new swelling.... Jack's case will be presented at tumor board on Thursday. Imagine a big room with a large mahogony conference table with a bunch of white coats who specialize in brain tumors and that is my vision of what tumor board looks like. Anyway, he will call back on Thursday with recommendations from the board for Jack. He thinks that most likely they will say give it more time and check on it again in a month or two. It is a bit confusing as to what has grown, he said the tumor that is contrasted in the MRI, which is the part that has always grown in the past, has stayed the same, it is the back of the tumor that didn't have contrast, that showed larger. If you just read that and said, what does that mean? Get on board. I really have no understanding of the ins and outs. But the doctors do and the Lord has got it all under control.

Jack had an opthamology appt. today. We have a date for his eye surgery, November 20. It is the Tuesday before Thanksgiving so he will have a good several days to heal and rest before school starts up. It is a day surgery, drive up the night before, check in to the hospital for pre-op early and he is out by the end of the day if all goes according to plans. Jack has had this surgery before, and it is not a huge deal. He wears sunglasses and a hat for a week to protect his eyes, we put some stinging drops in his eyes to prevent infection (thats the worst part), and 2 weeks later his eyes will be clear and straight if it is like the last time.

Off to pick up my sweet kids.

September 14, 2007

Do I believe in God?

This week has been full. God is continuing to open my eyes to where my belief and faith in Him have been wavering. Several things this week have brought me to an awareness of how that happened. First of all if I am not growing closer to the Lord, I am growing weaker. There is no middle ground for me. I would expect this to be true of all humans, but as I am only have expertise on me, then I wont say we in that sentence. My learning of the Lord has not ceased through this time of wavering, but what has wavered is my firm stand on the Rock.

One day this week I was listening as a prayer was being offered for my family. The man was referring to satan but didn't want to use his name, so he referred to him as the one who throws firey darts. Then in my scripture reading that same day I read the verse that refers to satan as the one who throws firey darts. This morning I was thinking again about that, and that is how my faith wavered. It wasn't all of a sudden, it was a gradual, I think I had turned into swiss cheese, with holes made by all those dadgummed darts. Over the last several months, I don't really recall when it started, I would read God's word, with an open heart wanting to grow, covering my time with Him in prayer, but then a little snide remark would pop into my head...and part of me would stay in agreement with that remark rather than refuse it and renounce it. The bible says we are all in a spiritual battle, and by not taking a stand in agreement with God's word and allowing that little firey dart to stay put I allowed it to take hold. Many firey darts later, I could feel myself sliding. The Rock was still there, still firm, but I moved.

God does not need me to agree with Him, He continues to be God, but I need me to agree with Him to live in victory on this earth.

I know what I mean, because I know what is going on in my head, but a stranger or even a friend who reads this might just wonder what is she really saying? Was I ready to walk away from the Lord - ABSOLUTELY NOT - been there, done that, bought the book, fell hard, God lifted me up and gave me new life in my heart filled me with His grace and mercy, don't ever plan on going back. Where my wavering is: in fear, discontent and frustration and lack of trust. I trust the bible is divine and inspired. I trust that God is the Almighty, the Creator, the Giver of life, my Counselor, He was there at the beginning of creation, and He will be the one to shut it all down. He has existed forever, and forever never ends. All of that said, I BELIEVE IN GOD. But I would read a scripture here or there that I was not currently (key word there) jiving with what I wanted, was praying for, or could understand. And that snarky little twinge would come into my head discounting God's sovereignty and I would feel frustration because I wanted answers and the earth to move in THIS area and it wasn't happening.

Several month's ago I went through a Bible study on Daniel, and it pertained then and now, 3 ways God can deliver me from the fire. 1. Get rid of the fire. 2. Deliver me through the fire. 3. Deliver me straight into the arms of Jesus. Either way I am delivered.
#1 our faith might be lifted temporarily, but because there was no real effort on our part, The Lord after all did the work, it was many times just that a temporary lifting of faith. Like when someone goes in for a second round of testing because there is a lump, we pray, pray, pray....go back in for the tests again and all comes back just fine, we say our thank you Jesus's and life starts right back up and we move on. Or maybe some might not even be thankful, after all the tests were probably just wrong in the first place, we can actually reason with ourselves and justify what just happened.
#2 Walking through the fire. There is work to be done by the Walker and walkee. Sometimes it is hard and sometimes it is not so hard. If Jack had come through his first surgery and the tumor never grew, we would have been so thankful...I know my faith had grown at that point, the things that matter most in my life became very apparent, God had grown me and called me closer to Him. 2 years later the fire is still burning hot. God is faithfully by my side, more likely carrying me, my faith continues to be refined by that fire, but alot of what is not of Him is burning away. If it is not of Him, it is of me and it is hard to let some stuff go, even if it is not good stuff. So everyday my faith is tested in the fire, and everyday I trust in God, He protects me. If I lose my trust that is when some of those firey darts shoot at my feet, or maybe I am trying to walk on my own and have stepped just far enough away from Him that the darts are hitting me. The firey furnace is hot, and sometimes those darts just blend in with the heat. But those darts are not from God. Can He use them to help me grow in Him? Absolutely and I am sure He is, but He is always there for me to hold on to. His word is on my tongue to send those darts flying back to the archer that is aiming them.
#3. The day He calls me home and my faith is made truly complete. Glory be to God.

"Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers." Luke 22:31

I know that just as Jesus prayed for Peter and his faith to not fail, He is also praying for me and my faith. And it is through the encouragement of Jesus to not turn away I will keep walking forth until one day my faith is confirmed by site. Until then my faith is the substance of what can not be seen.

Thank you Jesus.

September 13, 2007

Home

Thanks to everyone for your prayers. We had a safe and quick trip. Jack only had to get stuck once, big hurrahhhh!! We made it home just in time to pick up Derek and Sophie from school. We will probably get a report on the MRI next week, early I hope and I will fill you in as to what we hear.

September 12, 2007

MRI Tomorrow

Jack and I are heading out for his MRI in Dallas. I am picking him up from school and we will head straight to Dallas. We will be staying in the Ronald McDonald House, and our room is already confirmed. That is such a blessing. We wont hear back from the doctor until next week, so I will blog about it when I get details.

Today I was running around doing last minute things before the trip. I got the car washed, gassed up and then with dread headed over to Books A Million to see if we could exchange our Harry Potter #7 Book on Audio CD. That is how we do our trips to and from Dallas, by listening to Harry Potter. Jack LOVES it. One of the discs was scratched, in fact is was the last 10 minutes of the book, you know who is in the train station at platform 9 3/4 talking to his son and telling how the sorting hat let's you help decide which house you are assigned and from then on it's toast. I went in with much trepadation because I had not saved my receipt, and we had made the purchase many months ago when it was first released. I explained that it worked the first time we listened to it, then it had become scratched, and could I please exchange it. I expected to be laughed at and ridiculed for even asking such a thing, but it was worth the try to get it exchanged so Jack would be able to listen to it (and me too, but if it were just for me I am not sure I would have had the nerve to check into it). The manager on duty listened to my story, took the cd from me, walked to the shelf and handed it too me with a big smile. She said, "ofcourse we will exchange it for you, you weren't concerned with that were you?" I thanked her several times and made it out to the parking lot before I cried like a baby. It is the small kindnesses that touch me so very much. She didn't know us, or Jack's illness, but what she did was huge for us and Jack's happiness for the trip today and many more to come. Thank you Jesus for the way that all worked out.
This seems so trivial I am sure as you are reading it, but it is the small things that make Jack happy. Listening to Harry Potter is a huge deal to him when we go to Dallas. It is very important to me to make his trips to the doctors pleasant and even fun, it is VERY important. Thank you kind lady. Thank you Jesus.

September 11, 2007

Do you want to learn more about the apostle Paul?

Tammy's quick synopsis - Paul was originally Saul, he was a persecutor of Christians, he found pleasure in ridding the earth of all the people who followed Jesus. One day Paul was struck blind on the road to Damascus and 3 days later a Christian man was sent by the Lord to deliver God's message to him. Paul regained his sight with a desire to be a follower of Jesus, and the rest is history. Paul is an example of how one can leave a life of hatred and evil be forgiven then go on to preach and teach with perseverance that is inspirational.

I would like to invite any woman in the Abilene area to join a Bible study on Paul. To Live is Christ and to Die is Gain, is the subtitle. Here are a couple of reviews that I just grabbed from the Lifeway website:



We currently have about 8 spots left. If more than 8 people want to join I know the Lord will open doors to a larger classroom and more small group leaders. So come join us if you are free from 5:30 - 7:00 pm on Sunday nights. We will spend time on prayer and discussion of the previous weeks homework, then watch an hour long video with Beth Moore tearin' it up! If you haven't done a Beth Moore Bible Study before, this will rock your world, you will be in the Word and love every minute of it. If you want to meet some new friends and be in community with other women this would be an awesome way to do that. There is nothing like making friends through the study of God's word.

There is child care for small ones, and awesome children's classes and teen classes for the older kids.

There is nothing that will grow you in the Lord like reading and studying His Word. Please join us if you can and want to!!

If you would like to be a part of the study email me at:
marcelain5@sbcglobal.net

I would need to know about child care and to order you a book. The cost of the book is $15, if the cost would keep you from signing up, just let me know and I will take care of that.
Class starts Sunday, so A.S.A.P. let me know.

Church address is: 3666 Buffalo Gap Rd., Abilene, TX 79605 (Southern Hills Church of Christ) The church next to Big Lots.

September 09, 2007

Modesty the new 4 letter word.

Oh be careful little eyes what you see, oh be careful little eyes what you see, for the Father's up above and looking down in love, so be careful little eyes what you see.

This week has been a week that the topic of modesty has found its way into my head alot. First I read Roxanne's bold post about her talk with her 8th grade girls in her classroom about modesty and appropriate dress, I am sure those girls thought that she was making something out of nothing, but I say, all pre-teens and teens need people in their lives to share with them that modesty is about dignity and cherishing yourself and your body and not being willing to share it unashamedly with the world. It seems that this world is selling a plate of goods to our younger generation that will one day crumble under them. We need more Roxanne's to say it straight and not just look the other way.

Then I watched the Today Show this week, and they had a college age woman as a guest on their show, who had been confronted on Southwest Airlines for inappropriate attire. She was asked to leave the plane go buy something else to wear from the gift shop as she didn't have luggage with her, then catch a later flight. She was humiliated by a male flight attendant who was questioning her character in front of the other passengers. She asked what she could do to please stay on the flight and groveled her way into being allowed to stay on the flight if she pulled her skirt as low as it would go, to make it look longer and squeeze together the shrug sweater to cover the top. The sad part of this story is that I have seen girls in less clothes at church, in the malls, and on the cover of magazines. The woman wore the same outfit on the Today show so the public could judge for themselves if she was dressed inappropriately. I have seen more cleavage on grown women in church, her shirt and sweater were form fitting, but isn't that all they sell at most stores these days in the young womens section, her skirt was very, very, short. But the several of the girls in the parade I went to yesterday had school uniforms that were the same length. The woman on the airplane asked for a blanket to cover her legs during the flight and just sat there and cried. My heart ached for her humiliation. I think there was probably a better way to handle that situation.

Then the West Texas Fair and Rodeo parade was yesterday morning. I couldn't believe some of the cheer and performance uniforms for a couple of the schools. These particular schools are outside of Abilene for all of ya'll AISD and WISD people. One group of girls in particular had bare midriff tops and skirts that were shockingly short. These girls were in high school, wearing uniforms that have only and inch or two more material than a bikini, tattoo's and naval piercings. If I had been with my family I would have absolutely covered my boys eyes. The shock of the crowd around me very apparently assured me that I wasn't the only one who thought the family parade had turned to part burlesq*e show.

Recently I shot a wedding. One of the things I do is take pictures of the decorated getaway car. Normally the grooomsmen do something funny, silly or a sometimes a bit racey to the car and most of the time it is funny to the bride and groom and attending family and friends. The bride and groom warned me earlier in the night that I should be prepared and to please don't be offended by the truck. I just laughed and thought to myself that there wasn't alot I hadn't seen and no big deal. Well I went out right before the bride and groom made their way out of the reception for their getaway and was not prepared, nor would I ever want to be prepared, for what I saw. The groomsmen were proud of their handiwork and asked me to take pictures of it all. I could not even consider taking pictures of what I saw, and as I was walking around to the front of the truck, purposely not looking at anything specific, to find an appropriate angle I saw the most horrible image and that was what they attached to the grill. Begging me to take pictures of the vehicle I told them that it was pure trash and I wouldn't even consider asking my lab to print such ugliness. I got a couple of far away shots and thought about the sadness of what I was seeing as a send off gift to the bride and groom. I guess it is a tradition in this group to make the cars outrageous and each one worse as the guys get married, but there were children and families present. This was not a bachelor party (can't even imagine what that was like, bleck!), but a holy union and celebration between a man and a woman.

Today I am in church singing praises to God and that image popped into my head. That horrible image. I did all I could to get it out, but it just wouldn't go away. I had tears in my eyes because I was in my church, singing praises to the Lord, standing next to my family and something so unholy found its way into my mind. Now, I have a slight understanding about what men go through with all the inappropriately dressed women around them, on billboards, on commercials. And one doesn't even have to search out the trash, it finds its way to them, just like that picture did to me. I would have never gone looking for that, but it is now in my memory bank, stored away.

God can and will take that image out of the forefront of my mind, but it will be a constant battle of redirecting my thoughts for a while. That was just one stinkin' horrible picture.

Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. PHIL 4:8

As a mom it is my responsibility to teach my children that they must not gaze upon the world accepting all they see as normal. I have to take a stand against what is not pure, lovely and admirable, in my home. I used to go see a movie not even considering the rating. Several years ago I went and saw a movie that was R rated, I hadn't checked the rating and never even bothered to look. There was a r*pe scene in the movie and I couldn't get my eyes closed quick enough and I left the theatre that night and told my husband never again would I walk into a theatre not having checked out a movie. I made a choice that day to never see a movie with a se*ually overt theme, n*dity, or anything that would put an image in my head that I wouldn't want in there. I have checked out every movie prior to walking into the theatre so I would never be surprised again.
I have a friend who wont let her teenage boys go to the swim club because there are too many skimpy swimsuits there for her boys eyes to see. I have a friend who has teenagers who like to watch the popular tv shows, but when something inappropriate comes on, someone in their family stands in front of the television facing their family until the scene finishes. There are ways to be creative and not check out of the world completely. It is impossible to leave your house or turn on your tv and not be hit with trash that can make its residence in your mind, that can make something that is very wrong, seem normal because it is shown as normal on all the tv shows. I think that for me the most important thing is to not accept what is going on around me and my family as "that is just how things are nowadays."

I would love to hear from ya'll how you handle this part of our culture with your children or yourself. How do we as followers of Jesus, be a part of the world, but not be part of the world, looking no different than the non-believers around us. How can we bring an emphasis to purity and modesty and be relevant to our children and those around us?

September 06, 2007

Our Savior

Tia sent a link to this video. I actually figured out how to embed it on my blog because it shows a powerful message. I have been that girl, I have been enticed by the same sins, and what I saw happen in this video, actually happened in my life. Satan is such a deceiver, it all looks good until he has us right where he wants us, and he will do all he can do to not let us out. Jesus has already won the war, we just have to hold on to Him. Praise be to God. Thank you Jesus.

He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. Isaiah 53:5-6



September 04, 2007

Walking with the Lord is never dull.

Labor day weekend, was full of as little labor as possible at our house. Three day weekends are great.
We continue to look towards September 13th for Jack's next MRI in Dallas. The neurosurgeon will be out of the office again, we got the call a couple of days ago. I didn't want to reschedule the MRI so we will go and get it done, then whenever Jack's Dr. get's back in the office he will look over the scan. I told the nurse when she called I want Jack off of steroids as soon as possible and we we didn't want to wait another month for an opening on the MRI schedule. Having the head of neurosurgery of a major Children's Hospital as Jack's current Dr. is a blessing, but their schedules are quite hectic.
Over the last week I have read two books, Get out of that Pit, Straight Talk about God's Deliverance, by Beth Moore, and For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn. Both were great books. For Women Only was a good reminder about how important it is to bless our husbands. Get our of that Pit, was an excellent read and I couldn't recommend it enough.

I have continued to beg, plead, pray, study, cry out to our Lord for increase in my belief and faith. There is such a difference in believing in God and believing God. Over this last week it is sinking into my extremely thick skull that God wants us to enter into fellowship with him in so many areas. My friend Sarah has quoted a scripture many times that talks about participating in the Divine Nature of God. Sarah - what scripture is that? Stepping out on faith in area's that God has called me to in the past have not ever been so hard. I really don't have words to describe what God is calling me to. I do feel like He is calling me to participate more in my faith and believe Him more than ever before. It is only He that can increase my faith and my belief in Him, but I must be willing to put my heart on the line more than ever before and seek Him and be ready for the increase. I wish it was on my time line, but it is not. I do have complete trust in Him that His time line is right on track and I am loved right where I am it is just time for me to move closer. Any guilt or frustration with myself is straight from the devil and I will not take that on. I have worn the clothes of fear and hopelessness for the last several months and unknowingly got myself quite comfortable in the pit that I found myself in.
Thank you God for the lift out of the pit. Walking with the Lord is NEVER dull.