November 09, 2009

South Beach

Monday afternoon. Was blessed to spend today over at some friends house taking pictures of them and their sweet baby Gentry who is just a couple of days old. It was sweet. It will take me a couple of days to blog those pics because I have some other editing I need to finish up first, but I am sure I will link over to my photog blog from here when those images are up.

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Looking forward to tomorrow, registration for my classes for spring at ACU.

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South Beach...I don't talk about dieting or weight on here hardly ever, maybe never. Beginning in my early high school years I became anorexic/bulimic and lived in that place until my late 20's. When I decided to get pregnant with my first child I felt like there was no place for that in my life, not that there was before that, but it became very clear that health was more than being a size 6-8. After I stopped that harmful behavior I became pregnant and then gained weight during my pregnancy. I have never gotten back to where I feel I am at a healthy weight. I have always had a love/hate relationship with food, I don't ever think I have been a classic overeater, but I have not chosen good healthy options as a rule. God has put on my heart over the last couple of years that part of me being who he has called me to be I need to make healthy choices for food. Not live in sugarland which is where I loved to be. Empty carbs, sweets, pasta, breads....I was being called to make some changes but never felt like I could not be ruled by the sugar monster. As I tried to make healthy choices I tried a couple of diets/plans that kept my focus on food, which brought back a lot of the feelings from my teens and 20's. Food was the focus, how many points? How much can I have? I knew that God was calling me to focus on Him not on following a structured plan. With this new determination and the knowledge that I have all the classic early signs of being a diabetic, borderline gestational diabetic with both pregnancies, where I carry my weight, and just the way my body reacted to sugar, I started South Beach probably 4 or 5 weeks ago, it is a low glycemic program. The first two weeks are somewhat limited, no fruit even, but the foods that allowed were plentiful and nothing had to be measured. I surprisingly got through that first two weeks with very little pain, and now still feel good about following the guidelines. I chose not to weigh myself as a guide, my guide would just be my abiding to God's plan for me. Weighing myself always messes with my head and in reality my devotion was to God and to be healthy not to be a certain weight. That has been the biggest blessing. I don't give the scale the power of affirmation or tearing me down, I just follow God's leading and choose food from the South Beach plan. There is no weighing food, no measuring...just healthy choices that keep my blood sugar level even.
I am a place now that sugar is not my king anymore, and it feels pretty good. Mostly it feels good that I am following God's leading and choosing to be obedient. I continue to lean on Him for self-discipline, and am grateful that He loves me no matter what I eat, but God is always refining me and I always want to listen.

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2 comments:

M'chelle said...

Thank you for sharing your struggles Tammy and for being so honest! Can't wait to see the pictures of Gentry! :)

Sarah said...

I hear ya. Go you! Proud of where you are on your journey! I, too, have recently cut way back on sugar for various reasons and am amazed at how many 'little' aches/ pains/ bothersome troubles don't bother me any more. Amazing what something so yummy can do to make us not feel so great. Glad it seems to be working for you!