February 25, 2011

Deja Vu today from a radio interview.

My only class was canceled today which is awesome as it is allowing me to get caught up on all things domestic and paperwork at home this morning.

I have my favorite morning TV show on in the background, The Today Show. The big story today is the latest Charlie S. interview and the canceling of the season of his show. My thoughts on his interview bring back some pretty tough memories from childhood. I find it quite ironic that C.S. thinks that he is his own man and is making clear choices that reign from his ability to be in control of his life. The reason that I see the irony in his statements, is that as a child and teenager I heard every single word CS said, but it was my father who spoke those words. When I listened to the radio show it was like deja vu. The second time I heard the interview in the next hour it all clicked, no wonder those words seemed familiar, I had heard them before. "I healed myself,.. AA is for sissies,.. I am in control...". The addiction specialist that was giving commentary in the segment said that as long as someone who suffers from addiction refuses help or doesn't think they have a problem there are three inevitable endings to this scenario: incarceration, institutions, death.

The addicted person is so narcissistic that they truly believe that the rest of the world is full of idiots who just aren't "enlightened" enough to see how great they really are. The addict can do no wrong in their own eyes, if others don't get it, or call them out on the rug for their choices, then the addict cuts them off with words or actions. The addict will protect their imaginary world with whatever it costs, may it be important relationships, their job, or anyone around them who brings any amount of discomfort to their choices. They like "yes" men and women.

As someone who lived with an addict until I was 17 years old, then teetered back and forth with addiction myself for about 5 years after that, I hear the words of C.S. and I think...you are not your own man, you are saying words that have been said before by many, you might think you are original but you are far from it.

2 comments:

Lisa said...

Well said, Tammy. Addicts don't have a clue of the damage that they do to the people that love them and/or depend on them. I see it daily, and it is very sad.
Thanks for being so open and honest.

Eric said...

Hi Tammy,loved your thoughts on Deja Vu moments, truely sorry.
Off subject, your picture still shows me you have your mothers good looks as I remember, with a tear.
May God bless you and yours.