September 13, 2009

New Eyes At Emmaus

Sunday night. I should be in bed asleep already, but am getting caught up on what seems like a million emails and some work. I just returned from a Walk To Emmaus. If you have gone on a walk...De Colores!! If not, I pray that you will one day have the opportunity. Several ladies whom I know who have gone on a walk are some of the most love filled people I know. I wanted that. I love a statement Beth Moore makes in one of her studies..."I don't want anything that the Lord does not have for me but I don't want to miss out on one thing He does." And He has love. Love that if allowed will overflow from me and into the lives of others. And love that flows freely and super naturally.

The last 20 years of my life I have worked through a lot of my junk with the Lord. I went to the walk knowing that there was not a big area in my life that I needed to lay at the cross. Those that I have struggled with forgiveness, I have forgiven thanks be to God. The idolatry of "control" is not something I struggle with, I made a mess of my life, I have learned by default that when I try to control my life there is nothing good that comes with that....I knew that this weekend would hold spiritual renewal and I also knew God would meet me right where I am on my journey to Him. So what was I anticipating that God would change in me, that He would transform? What did I ask for? I asked for God to bring my love for Him to a new level, and a love for His people to a new level.

There are so many wonderful moments that are scattered throughout the 3 days at Emmaus. Many that I would not want to spoil for another first time attender in the future. Part of the blessings are the amazing surprises along the way. One of the girls in our group knew most everything that was going to happen. She said today that knowing about it and experiencing it are two different things, but I am very glad I didn't know.

I wanted to come home and tell Rob all about it, but I want him to experience it for himself so I just shared glimpses. The smile on my face and the tears testified for me.

I will have so much processing to do as time goes on.

But one thing is for sure, the fragrance of the Lord is the aroma at a walk. The servants who made our weekend possible, the woman who had been praying over me for months from the time my name showed up on the list to attend, the people who kept us (over) fed, the amazing testimonies of God's faithfulness and power, the spiritual directors, the up front leaders and the behind the scenes people we never even saw until the last day, they have the aroma of Christ on their being. They were amazing blessings.

I had a special moment with Christ as I was in prayer to Him and I asked for Him to bless me with His eyes. I want to see people the way He see's them. I said that I gave Him my eyes, would He wash them in the blood of the cross and give them back to me with His view. And He did.

I had a pretty tall order, I am aware even today that my flesh wants to put my take on someone. But I want none of it, I only want His. In Christ alone can I trust....for the colors of His love, grace and mercy are all over His people even in the ones that I might not expect. I decided this weekend that in order for me to see with eyes like Christ, I must gaze into other's eyes without letting myself judge what is surrounding those eyes.

And the love for Him. It has been made even sweeter. Breath taking.


Anne said...

I'll never forget my walk to Emmaus...for many reasons. De colores!

mad4books said...

A lovely post. Thank you for sharing! I know my sister's Walk changed her life...

Amber Joy said...

De colores, Tammy! God bless you through this Processing time.

Scott F said...

DeColores! Sandy and I have both been and wish we had known ahead of time you were going. Please let us know when Rob goes! Amazing weekends!