From Slop to Victory... who knew... well, besides the Lord

This is going to be a great week for Jack! He is the star student in his class this week, which is totally fun, a poster of pictures we made earlier this year is on display outside his classroom, a paper is sent home with all of his classmates so they can learn about Jack and his family and his goals (reading chapter books, and riding his bike more), but the best part of all is that he doesn't have to do any homework this week. The glory days have arrived! Sophie (his twin sister) has also been named star student this week. So she also has her poster hanging, but in her classroom they still have to do homework, she totally doesn't mind. She likes doing her work. Had it been the other way around, Jack would have had a meltdown. Amazing that those two were together in my belly for 9 months and are as different as night and day.
Report cards came home last week and all 3 kids are on the honor roll, Derek got recognized as the good citizen for this last 6 weeks in his classroom, which is very good, all 3 kids now have achieved that this year. God has blessed me with 3 really good kids, the grades are not really important to me as long as I know they tried their best, but the citizenship stuff makes me count my blessings.
Last week Jack also found out that he is going to be the chief during his 1st grade class's Thanksgiving Feast. He had acquired the most feathers through the week for following directions and helping out... He was a little worried due to the day we missed last week for chemo, but he pulled it off, and chief Jack (a.k.a. jumping dog..his choice of indian names) will be ready to lead the feast.
One thing that God has put on my heart lately are the blessings that He gives me as a Christian. I can see that over the last 15 years of my walk that God has continually picked something for me to lay down at the foot of the cross. I was thinking today about when I came back to Christ after a time of walking away and most the parts of my character and actions were ugly and to be truthful..evil. I would have been completely overwhelmed, frustrated and discouraged if God would have expected me to change everything at one time. Instead over the last 15 years he has gently and tenderly convicted my heart to a couple of things at a time. I know that I have many more gentle and tender convictions in my future, but experiencing the transformation that has happened to my heart is so humbling. I am one of those sheep who the Shepherd came looking for that wandered away, and angels rejoiced when I returned, but when I returned I had nothing to give Jesus except for my loyalty and a broken heart that was ready to be mended. I know that many of my choices caused the Holy Spirit inside of me to grieve, and I can say that I rarely ever thought about those nails that penetrated His tender skin, on my behalf. But now I do.
I do not think that I am unforgiven, Jesus' blood has covered me to make me white as snow, that is one of the first gifts that he gave me, was a heart that knew His love when I turned back. I don't think that I am unnecessarily dredging myself through the mud, I am remembering that without Jesus, I could be back there again. I do not ever want to forget that feeling of darkness because it scares the daylights out of me enough to remember it is only by His grace that I have come this far, His grace.
What has he been putting on my heart for the last month? The blessings of not having to carry my burdens alone and casting all my anxiety on Him. How has it made God feel when I have worshipped Him on a Sunday and then carried my burdens all the way home with me? I might or might not have set them aside during worship, but I definately had not casted them in His direction for good. This is what God's something is for me this week, month, year, and life... it is a daily gift He gives...give Him my stuff, follow His will, be grateful for the day I am in, pray for guidance, and smile. Smile because I have followed God's words - casted my anxieties, I have accepted the Jesus peace, I have been given a gift of an eternity to look forward to after my time on earth is over, He has convicted my heart to live in victory.
How can I show the Light of Jesus through my life if I am constantly burdened, downcast, mad because I don't think that life is fair, complaining...not very effectively. As Christians who strive to be in His will we should be different in how we handle what our days bring us..we only need to believe and actually follow through on what we read in scripture to be different. For many years I read, thought I believed, but really thought I just can't do that, He must not be talking to me,...but He was, is, and now that it is sinking in the Holy Spirit is enabling me to actually do it.
God has given me all of my emotions, I am made to be happy, grieve, cry, laugh...and there is a time for them all, sadness and grief were made by Him just as laughter and happiness. But the common thread that is so beautifully woven through all of those is I have Jesus by my side in everything, just waiting for me to cast my praise, glory and honor on Him as well as the trouble. If I don't follow his wishes for me to give Him my burdens I am being disobedient to His will for me. And after the slop he pulled me up from the last thing I want to do is to be willfully disobedient. The Father, The Son, and Holy Spirit, The Trinity of the Three, have become the thread that have woven a broken young women into a woman who can hold her head up high and claim a life of victory...oh what glory. A life with faith, hope and love, are the jewels of blessing we can claim on earth.