September 26, 2005

Hammered

I have arrived back in Texas. I left Phoenix and it was 91 degrees, and came home to a 105 degree record breaking day. Glad I got away from the heat and went to Arizona! I am so glad to be home, everybody did well without me. Jack took his mannatech like a trooper, Rob and Elaine said the kids did great, but thank goodness they all missed me. I had a wonderful time with my siblings and enjoyed my sister Becky's wedding immensely. I love weddings and when you feel God's blessings are all over it, it is awesome! Congratulations again to Becky and Dallas.

I have had a thought on my mind lately, struggling with I guess. I am searching for consistence of thankfulness in my life.
In First Thessalonians 5:16 it says

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

I see this scripture every day atleast 20 times, it is painted on my wall in my kitchen. I have looked at it and read it so many times I don't know how many, but I don't think I have ever let it sink in. My nature is to be thankful and grateful for all the good, but if something doesn't go just right I might not verbalize it, but I can be miffed at the circumstances, wish they were different, pout about it, I most likely will forget about it pretty quickly, I tend to move on rather than sit in the mud, but I am not very often thankful about it before it leaves my brain. I want to take what the Bible says seriously, I want to read the Bible fresh everytime and let the words transcend my soul, and then ask God to change me to be just like what I read! It seems like this verse has been easy for me to read over but not really apply to the reality of my life. God is convicting me of this, he is hammering me over the head with this verse. I want to be thankful for good and bad, I want to be thankful for days that didn't go so well, days that wore me out, days that made me cry. Why do I want to be thankful for all that, because I want to be in the world not of the world, I want my actions to testify for the power and blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. Only the transcending power of the Holy Spirit that dwells in me can make that happen, but I have to die to my nature to let it happen. The word die sounds pretty harsh to some, but it really is the easiest part of the equation, what God does is supernatural. I hope to never be comfortable where I am, but always seeking what God's will is for my faith in Him. The rewards are endless from Him when we focus on the cross in a world filled with so many distractions. Thank you God.

Thank you for your prayers for Jack, chemo this Thursday, and for the weeks following. We go to Dallas October 11, for his MRI and clinic visit with his oncologist Dr. Bowers. The MRI will tell us if the tumors are growing or not. The chemo will continue if the tumors have stayed the same or shrunk at all, if the tumors have grown they will change him to the next protocol of chemotherapy. We are praying for Jack to have a great visit and awesome results. Love to you all.
Tammy

5 comments:

Anne said...

Tammy: I am so glad you are home safe and that you had such an enjoyable time with your family. Thank you so much for convicting me that I do need to give thanks in all things. I confess this is not something I have been able to put into practice at all...the struggles seem so hard to be thankful for. But you are right, I am called to do it by my Heavenly Father, and though it is hard, something I must work towards daily.

Thank you for your heart.

Sarah said...

I heard this passage explained so beautifully one time. Yes, we are told to "give thanks in all circumstances" and someone smarter than me could tell us if that "in" is an accurate translation, but I believe there is good reason we are not told to give thanks FOR all circumstances.

I don't believe you are being told to be thankful that Jack had a tumor, but I believe we can be thankful that God led you to such a gifted surgeon. I don't believe you have to be thankful that the tumors seem to have grown over the summer, but I believe we can be thankful that you were able to stay in Abilene for the chemotherapy. Because of the awful, sinful world we live in horrible things happen but because of the perfect, glorious God we worship there is reason to be thankful within those awful things.

Sometimes in the DAILY of life it's hard to even be thankful for those things -- pity sakes, with my healthy family and intact house I am NOT currently very thankful that my family knows where the dishwasher is since they seem to believe that "the scrubbing fairy" will un-stack the plates from the way they are piled in there so as to clean the dishes. (be looking for a blog on the scrubbing fairy! :-)

My computer desktop right now reminds me of Romans 12:2: Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

That's YOU, Tammy -- you are being transformed by the renewing of your mind as you re-program your mind day-by-day with His good, pleasing, and perfect will. (You've gotta see last night's Beth Moore video -- spiritual CPR: take in the truth, breathe out the truth) So we will be praying for you as you continue to renew your mind. Then you can be thankful for the bad days -- you can be thankful that they weren't worse because we've ALL learned not to ask, "How much worse can it get?"

(breaking into song, Denise-Waldrop-style): Did you ever know that you're my hero? And everything I would like to be?

You truly are my hero and I am blessed to struggle through this muck with you!

Tammy M. said...

Sarah - in and for such little words, but huge difference in meaning. Your words helped me get a better grip on that, I can be thankful "in" without having to be thankful "for" thanks for your thoughtful explanation.
Anne - You have a sweet spirit that loves the Lord, you are a blessing to me.

Anonymous said...

I just read several updates from this month, and WOW, Jack has been a busy little boy! Will be in prayer especially about the MRI next month, as well as Jack's continued wellness throughout this ordeal.
Thank you for sharing how God is touching your heart in so many ways. Having a child with autism and a seizure disorder, I have had some similar thoughts and questions for God. He has never let me down, even though my daughter still struggles with her problems. At every turn, God has sent someone or something at just the right time to comfort us or once again prove to us that his ways are higher than our ways.
Satan would have us be bitter and stop ministering to others with the love of God. But he's the loser!!
Praise God for willing spirits such as yours -- and praise God for his faithfulness.

Sincerely,

Sharon Winkler

Mike said...

Tammy - The most profound thing that will be written on my blog this week is what you just left. It's the kind of lesson none of us want to learn first-hand; but when we do, light bulbs begin to go off everywhere! Your words there are going to bless lots of people. Thanks. (And blessings on Jack this week!) Mike