It is hard to hit delete.

Ponderings. When Rob and I first married we each had our own address books. I am curious if most people when combining their households immediately combine their address books, or if each person keeps their own for a while, forever? I was all about combining our households when Rob and I got married, we immediately shared a bank account, what was mine was his and his mine. But the one thing I couldn't seem to combine was our address books. Names of people who were in our pasts that we would probably never talk to again, do you forward those to your new address book? Or do you just put in the names of people who are currently in your life? These questions plagued me into keeping separate address books for years. Then the largest obstacle is when someone who you are close to dies, do you erase their name, or in this case do you forward their name, just because that person should always have a place in your address book. Maybe under the address I could have written... heaven. Right before Rob and I married his grandpa died in an accident, I knew how much Rob admired and loved his grandpa and his death was hard on all who knew him. So for years when I would look through Rob's address book to get an address, I would see Grandpa and his Waukegan, Ill. address and phone number. I didn't even want to think about what to do with that name and address, so we continued our separate address books. Then my dad died, then my mom died. When do you delete a phone number off of your cell phone? Do you just do it matter of factly or do you go through the grieving process all over again. I was sitting at Derek's football practice last Thursday night, trying to pass some time and I was cleaning up the phone numbers of people who have moved away and their numbers weren't correct anymore. I scrolled down and saw "Nana." I thought about it for a moment, should I change the name on that number to Grandpa or just leave it because I am not ready to erase her from my phone book yet. I left her name.
Rob and I have in the last year combined address books, my mom, dad and Rob's grandpa's name are not in there any more. There are huge gaping holes that are present on the M, G, and Z pages. Once very loved and important people held the top lines, and now they have been filled with other very loved and important people in our families.
I know that the new address for these people are all in Gloryland. But the Texas, Arizona and Illinois landscapes are missing some special people. Even when there is a peace in their passing, it is just hard to hit delete.