August 18, 2006

Images ... love them.

It is only 7:44 in the morning. In the 90 minutes that I have been awake I have gotten 3 children fed, clothed, out the door to ride the bus to school, and changed career paths twice. What? you might say, how can someone change career paths twice in just a matter of minutes, come live in my head sometime it is a never ending saga of planning. I am fessing up to the sickness I have, Jack definately gets his "what are we doing after this," from me. I am not proud of that, I would love to be one of those people who wake up and think about breakfast and coffee, but before my feet have hit the ground I am already up to about 5 pm and dinner plans, football practice, and possibly even tomorrows plans. Most people would look at me and use words like... easy going and low-key, ah that Tammy, she just seems like she never get's stressed out ... those are things I have heard, and that is the fruit of my planning. I hate stress. I always say I am the type of personality that can not do many things well, I try to stick to just a couple. Before I had my children I could juggle a jillion tasks, now I have kids and I just can't do that and keep my sanity both.
So here I am, financial aid papers filled out, classes written down from the junior college I had planned to be at right now to turn in those financial aid papers. I went and talked to someone yesterday at ACU and got my degree plan, of which I have 20 hours already completed from when I was fresh out of high school, I am a mere 10 hours away from being a Sophomore. So close... but yet so far.
I have a wonderful home business that God blessed me with about 6 years ago. I am a photographer. I prayed when Derek was in my tummy that God would give me a job that I could be a stay at home mom and make some money on the side. I prayed and prayed, and in God's timing He made it happen. At the time of those prayers I was a snap shot taker, never dreamed photography would be my thing, but God made it my thing, and I have thoroughly enjoyed this field. I am eternally grateful to the Lord for the gift of this business. But I am always thinking, "what am I going to do after this," my kids Lord willing will grow up and go to college (I will beat them with a stick if I need to, for them to get a formal education, and not drop out after a mere 20 hours like I did) I really wont beat them with a stick, just for the record. But you get my drift. When our kids are in college if I work at ACU the local christian college my kids will get a significant tuition break. I do not need a degree to be support staff, but it would be a good thing for me. And then... out of nowhere an email comes from one of the labs I use for a seminar on photography and I am totally swept up into the images on the screen, my heart is pumping hard, my palms are sweaty, I love it. This is the business that I love. So I am bidding a'dieu to my college plans this year, loving the field of photography, I know it will be grand as it comes straight from the Lord, and maybe, just maybe, one of these years I will actually make a profit on my business and when that day comes, I will shout from the rooftops,... there is just something about taking a picture and having the emotion jump off the page, a high school senior, independant, and ready to enter the world with dreams so big they can not be contained, to remind a couple of the love they felt for each other before they were married, or the pure innocence and excitement of a bride dressed in her gown minutes before she is betrothed to the love of her life. The gift of images that last forever, yes, that is my calling. Marcelain Photography
Now that I have that off my chest, I need to continue thinking about the breaking down in tears post, answering one meager question, ... come back tomorrow.


Sarah said...

I am so glad you have your life planned out -- for now!! As much as I know you would be GREAT in college and a degree would open doors, I was grieving you walking away from your wonderful gift! Praying that God continue to lead you on the right path!

Julie Adams said...

It is weird you write this blog. I am always planning my wedding. Oh, I will probably be an old cat lady, but I can plan!!! I was thinking how if I did get married I would trust you enough to take beautiful pictures to capture the moments. So you better stay around in the business for eighty years or so... until I get married... because I am going to need you to make me look good.

Tammy M. said...

Julie, I am there.

Anonymous said...

Tammy, I pray that whatever path God leads you down will enable you to still have your camera at your side. You have an instinctive gift for bringing out the best qualities in your subjects and your quiet, calm manner is very soothing.

Karen Frazier