January 18, 2009

My Desire or God's Call?

Sunday afternoon. The kids are out of school tomorrow for MLK Day. So excited about that!!

I have been reading the Road To Daybreak by Henri Nouwen. I wrote before that this is Henri's journal of the year where he left the Theology Dept. of Harvard and was seeking his next call which ended up being Daybreak, a home for mentally disabled people. I love this quote from Henri, "Jesus speaks through the broken hearts of the handicapped, who are considered marginal and useless. But God has chosen them to be the poor through whom he makes his presence known. This is hard to accept in a success and production oriented society." Anyone who has known someone who has Down Syndrome can surely identify with this statement.

I also love this quote from Henri on the following page.

"I have been very concerned with this question since I feel that my life at Harvard led me in the wrong direction; that is why I finally left. Now that I am free to go the way of prayer, fasting, and solitude, I sense that without a concentrated effort I will transform my life here into another Harvard. I feel a burning desire to preach the Gospel, but I know in my heart that now is the time to pray, to read, to meditate, to be quiet and to wait until God clearly calls me. ...It makes no sense to preach the Gospel when I have allowed no time for my own conversion....one word spoken with a pure heart is worth thousands spoken in a state of spiritual turmoil. Time given to inner renewal is never wasted. God is not in a hurry."

I wonder how many times "my burning desire" has been mistakenly identified by myself as God's will for me. The words, to be quiet and to wait until God clearly calls me are VERY convicting.


Susan said...

This is very timely. This message has been on my heart a lot lately. Thanks. Great post.