July 23, 2007

The Walk of Jack

I just took Jack and Sophie to camp at ACU. ACU has been kind enough to give Jack a "buddy" counselor that will be with Jack all day. As I was explaining to him Jack's physical difficulties and what Jack has trouble with I started to cry. I had tears streaming down my cheeks. I get emotional at such inopportune times. They were not tears of hopelessness or despair. I think they are tears for the lack of normalcy right now for Jack. He has gained 20 lbs in just a month because of the steroids and has no right side peripheral vision and that has impacted his abilities. Thank goodness Jack was off getting his picture made while all this was going on.
Today as I was driving home from ACU I was thinking about how normal it has become for Jack to hold my hand all the time now. He is not comfortable in his frame and his agility shows that. He never knows when he will miss a step and take a tumble, so he just walks with me so I can keep him steady. Lord willing there will be a day that Jack will not need to hold my hand to just walk without tripping, but I continue to cherish each and every time he slips his little hand in mine. I love to hold Jack's hand. It is a feeling of being there for him in his need, it is a feeling of connection with my child, it is a feeling of overflowing love that I can not even explain. If I feel this much love for my child (and children) who is hurting how much more love does our Father feel for us? I can not even imagine how much God loves us, but in scripture it tells us that it is more than we can ever love in our feeble human frames. If Jack needs to hold my hand, how much more do I need to hold the hand of Jesus to walk through my journey on earth. If I can steady Jack when he falls, how much more can God give me strength and peace in my walk with Him when I fall. I am an earthly parent to Jack, and he has complete trust in me. The Lord Almighty is my heavenly father, I pray to have as much trust in Him as Jack has in me on earth, for the love of a child is pure and trusting.
Jack continues to teach me with his love and I am so grateful to be his mom.

Thank you Father in heaven for allowing me to learn to love You more through the love of my son. Thank you for bestowing such a child in my care. You alone created his soul, you alone will call him home, but for the many years on earth that he is in my care, I pray that your will is for many, many years, I will do all I can to learn from him, and to teach him about You. About the treasure of love you have put in each of us, about choices and character, about your light and how if we will let you transform our hearts that your light can shine through our eyes because we are Your children, whom You have called blessed. In Jesus name, Amen.


Sarah said...

I needed this today. One of my favorite "old" songs is "Jesus, Hold My Hand". I will continue singing.

Connie said...

And those of us who read your blog and watch as you parent your children will also learn more about God's love because of your example. Your posts always give me something to think about that I wouldn't have thought of on my own! You are something else.... Love ya!

Mimi said...

Your words strengthen my faith each time I read your life lessons. Thank you for sharing your talents so freely. This blog has become a ministry and is touching many lives!
I continue to pray for good news from Dallas.
My love to Jack!